The Great White North EH

spikecomix 2004-07-03 17:22:52	So, I'm walkin right? Goin to the store to buy some maple syrup, cause the wife-- she's GOT TO HAVE HER PANCAKES!!! And then this Moose just leaps out in front of me, out of nowhere! And he says, "
canada_ut 2004-07-04 18:02:54	Moo!
joeking007 2004-07-07 09:48:34	Moo? Moose dont say "Moo" Then the Moose says "ok what do Moose say?" I dont know i said.
DMP08 2004-07-07 12:18:39	Perhaps if we check this handy encyclopedia. Searching in the book, we realize, the moose isn't in there. "Something has to be done!" Moose proclaimed, "I will go get beaver to help us." So off to the encyclopedia publishing plant in London they went. On the way...
-Mario- 2004-07-07 14:28:53	He stops at the local pub for a good beer... "Moosehead please" he asked, the bartender looks at him...
cydur 2004-07-09 10:25:47	You'll have to wait a few moments.Them guys over there in the back are drinking Alpine so they should be pissing some out real soon now...You did say Moosehead eh?
Milton 2004-07-12 17:47:31	"I wasn't asking for a beer" said the moose. "You did see me come in with the beaver, didn't you"?, he carried on with.
Almighty1 2004-07-13 17:32:30	Just then the beaver popped up from under the bar with a frosty smile and said "what a load", referring to the mess he just witnessed in the restroom, "gimme a CC and Ginger Ale, and make it a double........
canada_ut 2004-07-15 11:33:19	Whisky! So then... this Cow walked by... and said Moo!!! then took out a bazooka and killed everybody in the bar.... Just then A Canadian mounted police was walking by... and noticed this horrific seen and said....
RoyalHighlander 2004-08-01 20:16:37	Do you have a licence for that bazooka?? Is it registered son??? we have a great gun registry system here ya know... it must be good its cost us millio0ns..
Antoine 2004-08-05 08:41:00	And by the way, why did you open up on the bar? Was it somebody there? The service? The products offered?
HockeyBabe 2004-08-17 17:16:23	Then the Cow said, "Hey, ya wanna beer? I got Molsons..."
canuckler 2004-09-11 06:35:13	Then the poor beaver walks out of the salle de bain, all covered in shit. "What da ell?" says the moose. "Is dat shit?" "What does it look like, genius? says the beaver, "Anyone got a rabbit?" "Huh?" says the moose, missing the allusion to the popular bear joke. "Sacrebleu dere beav, what appened to you? "Shit, moose, I cant tell Rimouski from Rumplestiltskin in this place. Back in Alberta our bathrooms say toilet, eh. I mean washroom, bathroom, you know, what the hell is this Sally Ban shit. And to make it worse, I cant even tell what the signs mean, I mean I sat there for ten minutes and then figured I might as well go into the one that said Homies..." Then the poor beaver walks out of the salle de bain, all covered in shit. "What da ell?" says the moose. "Is dat shit?" "What does it look like, genius? says the beaver, "Anyone got a rabbit?" "Huh?" says the moose, missing the allusion to the popular bear joke. "Sacrebleu dere beav, what appened to you? "Shit, moose, I cant tell Rimouski from Rumplestiltskin in this place. Back in Alberta our bathrooms say toilet, eh. I mean washroom, bathroom, you know, what the hell is this Sally Ban shit. And to make it worse, I cant even tell what the signs mean, I mean I sat there for ten minutes and then figured I might as well go into the one that said Homies..."
HockeyBabe 2004-09-13 21:00:51	And everyone in the bar started laughing there heads off because Canuckler is extremely funny.
beachcomber 2004-11-15 01:21:35	...so the RCMP realizes that all this laughter seems a bit odd and starts hassling everybody in the bar as he has suspicion to believe that a large quantity of BC bud had been brought into the area. This creates the perfect diversion for the Moose and the Beaver to make their getaway. They skip out the door and make way to the nearest water source so the Beaver can wash the shit off his fur. "I don't tink we're gonna make it to dat encyclopedia place dere Beav" Moose said. "Ah, screw that asshole anyway's Moose, who the hell says you can't say moo, you can say moo if ya want right?.....I mean who in the hell does he think he is anyways, this is a free country right!! you can say whatever the fuck you want to!! look...moo,moo fuckity mooooooooo!!!! Let's get the fuck outta here I'm thirsty", Beaver wildly proclaims. "WOW" says Moose, "You're absolutely right! Hey what's your real name anyways?" "It's Rocky" says the beaver. "Well, I sure am glad I ran into you Rocky, you seem like a pretty cool dude." exclaims the moose "The name's Bullwinkle, I haven't told anybody that for a long time." says Bullwinkle. "I used to get teased alot about my name as a youngin' growing up in Kapuskasing." "Where abouts you from there Rocky?".........
DoctorG 2004-11-16 17:35:45	and then Canuckler said " May I have anoher beer?" and then he started talking to an american who was sitting right next to him .
shariberrie 2004-11-18 16:26:00	"hows it goin, eh?" said canuckler. "oh i got this dumbass for a pres." replied the american.
shariberrie 2004-11-18 16:26:05	"hows it goin, eh?" said canuckler. "oh i got this dumbass for a pres." replied the american. then canuckler said....
canada42223 2004-11-28 09:52:41	He's absolutely convinced that Canada is going to attack the US one day. He says it's got something to do with the Lockout, eh? He thinks it's a ploy to lull the Yanks into submission by boring the airways with Basketball and Poker.
-Mario- 2004-12-01 10:51:03	Sooooo, Bush, thinking he is one step ahead of us: instead of invading Canada... lets sell them the missile sheild, "American made missiles", that shoudl blow up in their faces. And with the rest of their troops doing peacekeeping and Afghanistan... voila, Canada on a plate. So, don't you know it....
Arctic_Menace 2004-12-05 16:41:51	Bush, the moron that he is, sends these missiles to Canada in exchange for flu vaccine. So of course, the misslies start to blow up and most of northern Canada is blown to scrap, but since no one lives there, Canadians are unharmed. The Americans however, getting their flu shots discover that it is poison instead of flu vaccine. One out of 3 Americans die from this trick. Bush is pissed, so wouldn't you know it.....
beavermuncher 2004-12-16 12:47:52	And so the beaver and the moose leave the bar, the bazooka and the mess behind and continue on their way to London. They board a plane in Windsor and fly across the Atlantic to Heathrow. "Oops, wrong London," says the Moose. "No problem, just act natural," replies the beaver. As they disembarked the plane and walked across the tarmac toward the terminal, the moose, looking very natural, and the beaver, looking more like a beaver than he ever had before noticed a huge contingent of liveried footmen and uniformed grenadiers approaching. "Welcome to London" said the sergeant at arms. And then a guilded carriage glided toward them. It was decorated with an enormous crown and the entwined letters ERII. With a sublte wave, a stout woman emerged from within. "Welcome to London" said HM the Queen. "Ma'am" replied the Moose and Beaver, quaking and dropping to the ground. "I imagine it is this you came for," said HRH and handed them the Canadian Constitution. "Thank you your majesty, but no thanks. That thing has caused us more problems and cost us more money than anyone can account for. Please take it back." said the moose. Then the beaver added, "Could you also sign our Parliamentary Bill to expunge Pierre Elliot Trudeau from the history and minds of Canadians? That would make our journey complete." "I thought you'd never ask" replied good Queen Bess as she gave the bill Royal Ascent. As the Queen rolled off in her carriage, the Moose and Beaver repaired to the Savoy for prime rib and yorkshire pudding. Then they headed off to the Mad Beefeater Pub and got smashed on Double Diamond.
alsipius 2005-03-11 09:28:15	While Rocky and Bullwhinkle were sat in the Beefeater eating yesterday's sausage and mash, the suddenly realised that they had drained the bar of all the Double Diamiond. Rocky says to Bullwhinkle, you know, this English Cider is crap compared to good old growers innit? I know mate (says Bullie slipping into the spirit of the country), what says you n me pop up the offy like, and pick us up a couple quid's worf of Tennants Super, it's 12%, and see if we can't get pissed in front of Buckingham Palace. It's only a quick ride down the Picadilly line innit. Yeah, that sounds like a right bubble mate, says Rocky! So off thego down the offy, and score a 4 pack of Tennants Super. Akbar behind the counter contemplated asking for ID, but changed his mind thinking that Byullwhinkle was Camilla Parker Bowles distant relative. 4 pack firmly secured, and dangling by the plastic rings from Bullwinkle's left Antlers, they set off to find Holborn Tube Station, and all of the sudden they see a guy in his 40's walking down the road with a can of Stella in his hand. Scuse me, says Rocky, but won't you get in trouble for that.No Mate, says the guy, you are allowed to drink in public in this country. You're shitting me says Bullwhinkle. No mate, its the truth mate, innit. We've got a whole drinking thing going on here, and becasue the pubs close at 11:00 PM they let use make up for it by drinking anywhere we want to. Where are you guys headed anyways? Well, we were thinking of going to Buckingham Palace, and drinking these Tennants Supers. Bullocks to that mate, you don'twanna do that. It's bloody freezing ut here today. This aint cold Says Rocky. Oh, you guys are Canadians then? Yup. Right mate, well, what you wanna do is got to Covent Garden, and check out the Maple Leaf pub. All you have to do is go down this road till you see the green grocer, and the pretzel stand out front, go over the zebra crossing, and past the Grand Lodge of England. Just past that you will see a big market. On the otherSide of that is Maiden Lane, there is an ourdoors clothes place onthe corner, go down there, and you will see it on your right. Curiousity now had seized control of Rockyand Bulwhinkle, so following the Englishman's directions they set out in search of the Maple Leaf. After a few wrong turns, the eventually walked in to see a packed house watching England playing Canada in Rugby. Oh no eh, says Rocky, like look at that score eh!!! What a bunch of hosers says Bullwhinkle. But you know what, look behind the bar, they got Sleemans eh. Ah cool eh, let's get some eh. Oh, look at the menu, the like got Poutine eh. Tres cool. Ok, you order, I'll get a table...
pamandersonishot 2005-03-12 20:59:08	But those danm leaf fand won't get out until the actually win.
Ripcat 2005-05-23 23:02:59	Yes. The Maple Leaf was filled with Leaf fans. Every last seat in the place was taken by a Leaf fan waiting for their favourite team to hoist the Cup above their heads. Wait a minute! They are all dead! Just a bunch of skeletons sitting around wearing Leaf paraphernalia, eye sockets staring towards televisions tuned to the blizzard.
canucker 2005-05-27 22:57:33	Not a surprise really. They are or were leaf fans for god sakes. But then, suddenly out of the sky appeared...
TheUSofA1776 2005-06-04 23:09:06	a bird and a plane and a super intoxicated jackal from the land of prairie dawn. The smell of the encounter made everyone...
WickedSnowBall 2005-06-14 15:06:03	feel like they had to visit Quebec, it's newly constructed wall and filled with water to have a bath.
HockeyBabe 2005-06-29 13:05:05	They would put bubbles in it and play with they're rubber frogs
HockeyBabe 2005-06-29 13:05:08	They would put bubbles in it and play with they're rubber frogs.
lickerpig 2005-08-09 19:43:13	Which was fine, until they noticed they were getting some weird looks from the locals. Unbeknownst to them, the signs said " No playing wit rubber frogs". It was in french, so they couldn't read it..............
baglady 2005-08-09 21:58:54	was it just a ploy cast out to defend themselves? No playing with rubber frogs is what I would say if all I did was bounce around croak and grumble aboot absolutely nothing just to be heard. Suddenly they saw a sign that read " fdsjkslflkkasffndskla fndifijefanl fnaslsefnlf " ( in english it means " arena of hockey sorrows ", So off they went. When they got there, they were all excited thinking that there would be pictures of broken boned hockey players with cuts a flowin', but, instead all they saw was a plaque that read " we do donate this memorial plaque to all those that watched the Habs when Patrick Roy use to play. What a team we were! Worthy of our ice time. But alas we mistreated him..... caused him to flee..... and a hockey team no more are we..". Their eyes filled with tears..... their hearts with pain.... the sorrow they felt was over whelming. Bulwinkle looked at rocky, and rocky at Bulwinkle and they both exclaimed.... " C'est La Vie !"
HockeyRockCanadian 2006-05-27 10:55:07	Sens game tonight eh! Frank and Gorden are coming too.
benderkyle 2008-01-16 23:25:13	But Gorden is a HUGE leafs fan... so we don't know how well that will go over with the rest of the crowd. For his protection Gorden brought with him.....